I just want a fruit salad that isn’t 98% of these fucking things
You mean fruit? Well, that’s gonna be hard…
I never get any love from tumblr.
Martin Freeman, I love you man. I have a poster of you in my bedroom. But dude, you have an ass on your face. Like, right there, between your eyebrows. Have you noticed that? It’s like, a perfect ass crack right where you squint your eye.
And it’s fucking deep too. Like, I bet that if you have an important paper you don’t want to lose you just stick it right in there. Like, I am pretty sure that is where you keep your change when you go to the grocery store to get some skittles.
(Source: meowmeowpurring)
why does one direction feel the need to announce that they have an announcement a week before they’ll actually announce the announcement
They have no other direction to follow.
How my mom texts:
- Mom: Bring milke.
- Mom: I made a mistake.
- Mom: Bring milk.
- Me: Okay mom, but next time you don't have to do all that if you make a mistake, just put an asterisk before the correct word.
- Mom: oq.
- Mom: *
- Mom: ok.
- Jesus fucking christ....
Things I learn from Supernatural that I can use in real life:
Every place in the world has salt. Literally every single place.
I’m not talking about a restaurant or a supermarket, I’m talking about 7/11’s, abandoned houses, gas stations, tool sheds and carpentry stores.
And not a pussy ass bitch small package of table salt either! I am talking about motherfucking huge 20 pounds sack of rock salt. And an endless stock too.
If my cooking is ever unseasoned, if I ever go to the McDonalds drive-through and my fries come unsalted, if I ever have the need to kill a slug… I know exactly where to go. Thank you Sam and Dean, thank you.
- I just want to share with you how fucking annoying windows 8 can be. To all of those who are thinking of getting it, beware of things like this.
- Windows 8: So, you're watching the hobbit, hun?
- Me: Yes I am.
- Windows 8: The epic dwarf song is coming right up isn't it?
- Me: In a few seconds, yes.
- Windows 8: Let me freeze right after the first word.
- Me: NO!!!
- Windows 8: Don't you just love it that you can still hear it but can't see a motherfucking thing?
- Me: GODAMMIT!!!
- So I recently installed windows 8 and for the most part I love it, but every now and then I swear that bitch is trolling me. I get to such a point of frustration that we have conversations. Here's an example:
- Windows: That word is wrong. That word is wrong too.
- Me: It's not wrong, it's in English.
- Windows: Lol, I'm pretty sure you are portuguese.
- Me: Yes, but I enjoy talking in English.
- Windows: Well, tough titties. Those words are all wrong.
- Me: Son of a bitch...
- Windows: You know what's worse than me correcting your every word just because it is in a different language?
- Me: What?
- Windows: Crashing.
- Me: NO!
- Windows: YOLO!!! *epic crash*
Guys I really want to make an RP blog and I follow all these people that have all these wonderful RP conversations with each other but I’m afraid that if I make a blog and try to RP with them I’ll be butting in help guys what do I do
No! Don’t feel like that! The more the merrier!
Please do this and I shall love you forever.
