I just want a fruit salad that isn’t 98% of these fucking things
You mean fruit? Well, that’s gonna be hard…
I never get any love from tumblr.
Martin Freeman, I love you man. I have a poster of you in my bedroom. But dude, you have an ass on your face. Like, right there, between your eyebrows. Have you noticed that? It’s like, a perfect ass crack right where you squint your eye.
And it’s fucking deep too. Like, I bet that if you have an important paper you don’t want to lose you just stick it right in there. Like, I am pretty sure that is where you keep your change when you go to the grocery store to get some skittles.
why does one direction feel the need to announce that they have an announcement a week before they’ll actually announce the announcement
They have no other direction to follow.
How my mom texts:
- Mom: Bring milke.
- Mom: I made a mistake.
- Mom: Bring milk.
- Me: Okay mom, but next time you don't have to do all that if you make a mistake, just put an asterisk before the correct word.
- Mom: oq.
- Mom: *
- Mom: ok.
- Jesus fucking christ....
Things I learn from Supernatural that I can use in real life:
Every place in the world has salt. Literally every single place.
I’m not talking about a restaurant or a supermarket, I’m talking about 7/11’s, abandoned houses, gas stations, tool sheds and carpentry stores.
And not a pussy ass bitch small package of table salt either! I am talking about motherfucking huge 20 pounds sack of rock salt. And an endless stock too.
If my cooking is ever unseasoned, if I ever go to the McDonalds drive-through and my fries come unsalted, if I ever have the need to kill a slug… I know exactly where to go. Thank you Sam and Dean, thank you.
- I just want to share with you how fucking annoying windows 8 can be. To all of those who are thinking of getting it, beware of things like this.
- Windows 8: So, you're watching the hobbit, hun?
- Me: Yes I am.
- Windows 8: The epic dwarf song is coming right up isn't it?
- Me: In a few seconds, yes.
- Windows 8: Let me freeze right after the first word.
- Me: NO!!!
- Windows 8: Don't you just love it that you can still hear it but can't see a motherfucking thing?
- Me: GODAMMIT!!!
- So I recently installed windows 8 and for the most part I love it, but every now and then I swear that bitch is trolling me. I get to such a point of frustration that we have conversations. Here's an example:
- Windows: That word is wrong. That word is wrong too.
- Me: It's not wrong, it's in English.
- Windows: Lol, I'm pretty sure you are portuguese.
- Me: Yes, but I enjoy talking in English.
- Windows: Well, tough titties. Those words are all wrong.
- Me: Son of a bitch...
- Windows: You know what's worse than me correcting your every word just because it is in a different language?
- Me: What?
- Windows: Crashing.
- Me: NO!
- Windows: YOLO!!! *epic crash*
Guys I really want to make an RP blog and I follow all these people that have all these wonderful RP conversations with each other but I’m afraid that if I make a blog and try to RP with them I’ll be butting in help guys what do I do
No! Don’t feel like that! The more the merrier!
Please do this and I shall love you forever.